hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
