dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize