There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You are the jesus of drinking
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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