Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
