No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
