Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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