I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
