so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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