u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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