At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
