While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
