So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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