I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize