The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
