Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize