Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
