My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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