We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
