i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
