i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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