There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
