I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
