Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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