how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Congratulations! We have a period
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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