I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
