So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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