I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize