Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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