Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
