Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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