He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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