do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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