it hurts more in the daytime
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
