so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
