i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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