can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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