I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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