Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
