I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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