the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
