Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
