nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
