gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize