I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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