She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
