Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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