We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
