Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
