great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
