i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
