So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You can't just leave with hair like that
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
