Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
