Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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