i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
