How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
