My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i believe in u and ur pee
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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