and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
