i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
