what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
How external is "for external use only"?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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