Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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