In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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