you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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